once, eugene told me he doesn't know whether
encouraging me to join vnr was a right choice
when he saw me getting so stressed over thinking
of ways to raise the profile of the cca and etc..
"if you had joined a more high profile cca,
things might have been different.
you might be happier."

and i started wondering...

i tried telling myself to not get affected by whatever
that might bring me down during cca.
but i started doubting.

after all the self-doubts and denial,
i decided to face it.

i love my cca.
be it during good or bad times.

and i shouldn't doubt.

this, even if it's a mistake, it's one of the best mistakes i've made.
moreover, this is NOT a mistake.
it's a blessing.

i learnt a lot in vnr.
i grew with vnr.
i learnt to play.
i learnt to slog as a team,
and enjoy the fruit of our labour together.
i learnt to thrive in adversity, or so i try.
i learnt to not give up in times of distress and
when all else fail, i just keep trying.

paul once said,"so there's a problem. solve it."

and that, i keep close to my heart.
yes. solve it.

(he never knew how much influence he held over me.
but i respect him.)

there's so many things i've learnt,
things other than those useful skills
(knots, drills, outdoor survival.. etc..)

i've grown.
i've grown with the cca.
and i see many of us growing stronger.
we grew stronger together.

i am not afraid to announce that i am from VnR.

some people jeer at the size of the cca.
but im not afraid.
yes, we are small. but we are small with dignity.
big does not equate to good.
likewise, small does not equate to inadequate.
we are people with initiative.
lots of them.
i can see in them.
all.

moreover, small means more opportunity for everyone
and closer bonds.

i am proud of everyone in vnr.
they shine in their own ways.
be it bright or obscured,
they shine.

it's the people that make up the cca.
and im proud of vnr.
im proud of our juniors too.
it must have taken them some courage to take on a cca
that is not considered as one that is mainstream.
but they did the right thing.
i hope they will enjoy vnr as much as i do.

althg vnr is not exactly very high profile,
i believe that one day we will shine bright,
just like the olden days when vnr was very prominent.

i don't know what happened along the way,
i don't know what happened to all the glamour the cca used to have.
but i can see us rising someday.
at least clear the misconception that many have about us.
They misjudge us because they do not know us well enough.
They do not know what we do..

i have a vision that one day,
we will be able to retrieve the old glamour of ours.
i know it's not possible for us to do it overnight.
we might not be able to do that within our term,
but we can try to set the direction right.

these might sound too large a task for us to do
but unity is strength.
we will do it one day.
be it 1 yr, 2yr, 3yr... 10yr,
we will do it.

never say die.

those who fail are people who stop trying.
as long as you persist,
you are halfway there.
all you need is a bit of hard work and lady luck.