sigh.. did the knock it down thingy again. felt so sad knocking fellow vnrians down.. i didn't want to..
previously, we kinda made a threat saying if they ever late again, the knock-it-down system will come back. a man has to honour his words..
moreover, senior was here.. the other day she was asking me how cum i never knock dem. i told her i will do so today coz sat was a trial. i hav to do wad i hav to do. i sheltered dem enuff.
i seriously don't like to do what i jus did. knocking them n c them so xin ku.. i feel pain.
i told dem to recover. but they recover too slow. so senior ask dem knock it dwn again. n she told dem recover n knock it down a couple o times before handing dem back to me. so i hav to follow suit until their performance was satisfactory. or im going to get it from seniors, esp after dem sending email arnd saying that we r slacking n incapable of doing things... =(
i have to do what i have to do.
but they all v buay song. i think they buay song me. sigh. it's so saddening to stand in front of a row o ple, with e face so black...
i didn't wana do much reprimanding.. in fact i was hoping that they wun be late. n spare me of the agony...
siliang ignored me after that.. so sad. so so sad.
pinxuan n siyu were unhappy. i could see. they didn't wana talk to me.
daniel. i don't know.
but siliang ignored me.
sigh. my fave junior ignored me.
nevermind. they will never understand how i feel. having to do sth i don't like. yet i have to. i don't really hav a choice.
ple don't cooperate. but i dun like to use force. so regimic...
i don't like.
i bought them food today so that they wun go hungry after ct. but i gave dem food when they were v unhappy w me..
*shrug* it's all beyond my control.
i don't know how to face dem tml. do i sitll nit to knock dem? =( starting to not like to go cca again. i started enjoying every session o cca after juniors came. now i will destroy everything. by myself.
n i will b left alone. me, myself n i.
i feel that cca shld be enjoyed. n at this age, they shld b sensible enough to do things the correct way if we talk sense into dem.
gee. but wad can i do. can i ever resist a senior? how do i ans to dem abt discipline? i don't know. i really dun.
see ming says it's my destiny as a leader. eugene says it's some sacrifices i have to make. i say? im so confused.